Non-harm, truth and consent

Care is more than a pleasant tone

Non-harm is a serious direction for conduct, not a promise that every choice can prevent all discomfort. Saying no may disappoint someone while protecting a necessary boundary. Silence can also do harm when a person needs accurate information. Ask what injury is foreseeable, who has less power to refuse, and whether a less harmful way of acting is available.

Truthfulness does not require broadcasting every fact you know. Accuracy, relevance, privacy and timing all matter. ‘I cannot share someone else's message’ can be both truthful and protective. You can decline a question without inventing a story. If the matter involves a real safeguarding concern, ordinary confidentiality may not settle what needs to happen; seek appropriate responsible support rather than using this exercise as legal advice.

A choice must belong to its person

For our learning community, consent means a freely given, informed and specific agreement that can be withdrawn. Apply this beyond intimate relationships: photographs, touch, sharing a journal entry, joining a practice or being quoted in a group. A previous yes is not permission for a different use. Silence or nervous compliance is not a reliable invitation. Ask plainly and make refusal easy.

Spiritual language cannot excuse pressure. No student owes a teacher private disclosures, touch or obedience as proof of sincerity. Nor does non-harm require remaining in an abusive situation. Taking distance and seeking support can be responsible conduct. In ordinary disagreement, begin by naming your boundary without humiliating the other person.

A private message in a public group

An original fictional example

A friend privately describes a difficult week. You want to share a screenshot in a study group so people can encourage them. The intention is supportive, but the friend did not agree to this audience. Even removing a name may leave enough detail for recognition.

A better first step is to ask whether any sharing would be welcome, naming the audience and exact material. If the answer is no, respect it. Another option is to ask the group a general question without using the friend's story. The same principle applies to posting a photograph after a gathering: permission to attend was not permission to publish an image.

Prepare your practice

Understand intention, action and impact. Choose a fictional or ordinary communication example, not an unsafe confrontation.

Do not send real screenshots or personal accounts to this website. If someone is unsafe, prioritise appropriate help rather than rehearsing a difficult conversation alone.

Rewrite a message with care

Our original educational activity · Work at your own pace

1. Take the fictional screenshot situation and identify whose information it is, who would see it and what permission is missing.
2. Draft a short request that specifies the proposed sharing and makes ‘no’ an acceptable answer.
3. Draft a respectful response to a refusal without persuasion, guilt or spiritual pressure.
4. Choose an alternative that preserves privacy. Explain why it is truthful and how it reduces a foreseeable harm.

Another way: Use a non-personal example: asking before lending somebody else's book or sharing their creative work.

If you are stuck